Faith that Conquers: Love is in the air

February 16, 2022

Ah, February – the month of love. 

At least from a commercial perspective, thanks to Valentine’s Day. (Poor St. Valentine has been reduced to a box of chocolates.) Earlier this month, promotions were abound for flowers, candy, jewelry and more. 

One of my sisters calls Valentine’s Day a “Hallmark holiday” – just another way of making money. She and her husband treat it as any other day; maybe do something special for the kids. 

Before you start envisioning me as the Valentine’s Grinch, please let me assure you – I like the idea of celebrating loved ones. In fact, my Mom even gave each of us kids a tiny heart shaped box of chocolates growing up.  

The cheer of Valentine’s Day helps me cope with the bare rooms and stark walls left behind when the sparkle and magic of Christmas is packed away until next year. My heart shaped door hanger and pink and red decor offer a much needed boost in the cold, depressing days of winter. 

But while interviewing young adults for my story on the Young Catholics of Des Moines Singles Group, I was reminded of how challenging it can be for a single person in this secular world – especially those devoted to their faith. 

Insert the part where the Holy Spirit taps at my heart, encouraging me to write about my own experiences to make sure young adults know they are not alone. And, perhaps increase awareness of their plight. 

Valentine’s Day is probably one of the most hated days of the year for single people – a painful reminder of their relationship status. I remember those days. 

I have many not-so-great memories of dating. I had many dates and even a few short-lived relationships with guys I met on mainstream dating websites. But I eventually swore them off after realizing the expectations most of these guys seemed to have about quick and easy hookups. 

After our fifth date, one “suitor” told me he’d never had this many dates with a woman and not slept with her – insinuating something was definitely wrong with me. I told him of my Catholic values and we were done. 
You might be just as shocked as I was. Sadly, I believe these expectations are the norm nowadays. 

Social media only seemed to amplify the fact that everyone around me was engaged, married and having kids. 
But as it turned out – that wasn’t entirely true. Just when I’d thought it was impossible to find a nice guy with a strong faith, I ran into an old Catholic friend while out on a Friday night. 

After catching up, I finally asked him: “How do you meet people? I mean – good quality people who share our values and faith? It’s extremely hard to meet people.” 

He told me about a Catholic community of young adults and their weekly Bible study at St. Francis Parish in West Des Moines. They had social events as well. I was so grateful I ran into that old friend. And thankful for the camaraderie and friendships with like-minded people of faith I found in this group. 

Soon after, in 2008, I met my husband at the Bible study. We were just friends at first. The group always went out for food, drinks and socializing after Bible study. Soon we all began hanging out on other occasions, too. These people became my community. 

One of the guys in that community, Jason, became more than a friend and we married in 2010. Deacon Dave O’Brien, who lead our Bible study at the time, gave the homily at our wedding. Still today most of our friends are people we met through St. Francis. 

I felt God calling me to write this column. I’m sure most young adults reading this can relate all too well. Being single in this secular, sex-crazed world is extremely difficult – especially for those who want to live their life in line with the Catholic faith. Finding young, single people who share a dedication to the Catholic faith can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. 

I have several friends who finally turned to the Catholic websites, Catholic  Match and Ave Maria Singles, in order to find their spouse. Two married and moved to their husband’s cities – one now lives in Boston, another in Cincinnati. A third is newly engaged to a young man from Virginia – he relocated to the Midwest for work. 

Young adults, I know it’s tough. You are definitely not alone. Though I may not know you, I see you. And I’m rooting for you.

Kelly Mescher Collins is a multimedia journalist for the Diocese of Des Moines. She can be reached at kcollins@dmdio cese.org.