Food for the Journey: Eucharist and Friendship

by Diocese of Des Moines | June 30, 2023

By John Huynh

Over the past few years, I’ve grown more conscious of the nature of many relationships in my life, particularly those of friendship. In the midst of daily activities like mowing the lawn, watching my children play soccer, or watching the players I coach interact with one another, I find myself reflecting on what it means to be a friend. These reflections often lead me to ideas of communion and the Eucharist.

The Church teaches that we are inherently made for communion with each other. This concept is particularly true when we consider the celebration of the Eucharist, a sacrament that highlights unity and togetherness with each other and with God. One of the key ways we form these connections is through friendship. Our actions often draw us closer to communion with each other or distance us from one another, and the Eucharist helps to bridge this gap. 

Aristotle, the eminent philosopher, distinguishes three types of friendships: friendships of utility, pleasure, and virtue. It’s evident that only one of these types seems genuinely desirable.

Friendships of utility view the other person as a means to an end, useful in some material or spiritual way. It’s not the friend we love in this type of relationship, but what he or she can offer us.

Friendships of pleasure, often found among young people, come and go with the changing tides of desires. These friendships, centered on immediate gratification, can be ephemeral, flitting from one friend to another as pleasure dictates.

Neither of these types is enduring. But fear not, there is a third type - the friendship of virtue. Aristotle suggests these are built on the mutual goodness of the friends, their common values, and their mutual love for each other. Genuine friendships bloom from virtue, though the other two types can also evolve into it, given the right nurturing.

The Catholic perspective enriches Aristotle’s view on friendship. Christians draw from the sacrament of the Eucharist to seek unity and love in friendships, making it an indispensible element to sustain relationships. Here’s how.

First, not only are friends gifts to one another, but the friendship itself is seen as a divine blessing. We as Christians see ourselves as participants in a grand narrative authored by God. Recognizing this instills the sense of divine providence in friendships, seeing them both as personal choices and the manifestation of God’s will. Perhaps a bit bold, but in this view friendship among Christians isn’t merely for mutual enjoyment; it’s a divine task, a new way of life in Christ.

Second, Christian love, modeled after the selfless love embodied in the Eucharist, contrasts with Aristotle’s concept of love in friendship. Aristotle believes love has its boundaries, but the love seen in Christian friendships, much like the love we witness in the Eucharist, knows no bounds. It sees value in shared suffering and self-sacrifice, even to the point of laying down one’s life for a friend, a view found in Christ’s ultimate act of love.

This summer, take some time to reflect on your friendships and consider how approaching the Eucharist daily or weekly can foster deeper, more meaningful relationships. Ask yourselves: What kind of friendships do I have, and how can the Eucharist help them grow?