Goodbye George: Beloved uncle's death becomes an opportunity for forgiveness
by Diocese of Des Moines | October 28, 2022
A few weeks ago, my 84-year-old uncle was killed in a traffic accident up in rural northwest Iowa. He’d been driving his antique farm tractor down a highway early one evening, and was struck from behind. Details of the accident are unknown; Authorities are investigating yet.
Tonight, I phoned one of his sons, a cousin that my three brothers and I became close to while growing up on the farm.
My cousin Deny was doing well, but the hurt was still present and painful. We talked about the grieving process. It’d taken me a full year after my Dad died to finally embrace he was gone. Both our dads had been farmers. Their livelihood was based on nature and the four seasons. It seems natural to me closure would take a full year.
Over Labor Day weekend, my Uncle George had driven his 1940s Silver King tractor in the town’s holiday parade. George fully enjoyed driving it; the tractor was a family heirloom. He’d purchased it from the farm estate after my Grandpa Henry died. George had taken good care of the tractor. He was quite proud of it, happy to show it off to the local farming community and townsfolk. He’d done so in numerous small town parades previously.
George was the last of the Great Generation for our family. Born in 1938 as a baby of the depression, he’d grown up in a devout, faith-filled Catholic home. His parents actively practiced their Catholic faith. Two of George’s aunts were Franciscan Nuns, working as Missionaries in China during the Japanese invasion. They were captured and placed under house arrest until the end of the war. From a young age on, George witnessed how to practice his faith unwaveringly, his close family members as role models. That example would follow him through his formative years and all throughout his life.
The shock of George’s death affected Deny and his siblings deeply. There was no opportunity to say goodbye. Children, grandchildren, and even great grandchildren experienced loss. Uncle George was active, in decent health, and fully enjoyed his extended family. Even after losing his wife to sudden illness, George remained upbeat, happy to talk to people, involved with family, and was genuinely a pleasure to visit with. Always hospitable, he exampled how to reflect God’s love to those around us. George loved and enjoyed people.
After the accident, his son, Ray, collected his thoughts. Father Hogan felt they exemplified George so well that he included them in his homily for the funeral Mass. In essence, Ray’s message was one of hope and peace. George saw God’s beauty in people and all his creation. George would not hold a grudge against those who’d wronged him. Giving them instead the benefit of the doubt, he practiced God’s forgiveness and love. He learned this from his parents during his life; it was clearly exampled by his aunts to their captors.
To honor his dad’s memory, Ray reiterated we are to take in all God’s goodness, and be grateful for all the blessings he bestows. We are not to sink into resentment, vengeance, or hate. We are instead to continue on in love and gratitude for the time George was with us. Even in grave death by another, Ray said George would want the family to exercise God’s love and grant his peace. In Matthew’s Gospel, Peter asks how many times we must forgive our brother:even up to seven times? Jesus replies not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Our forgiveness is to be limitless and infinite.
The days since the accident and funeral have given me time to think and reflect on all this. George had provided a lifelong example of how to spread God’s love. His accident allows us to experience God’s power and love directly, by practicing his immeasurable forgiveness. We are to share God’s love with others. Christ Jesus tells us to love one another as he loves us. And so we must. Goodbye George.
Thomas Klein is a parishioner of St. Francis of Assisi Parish in West Des Moines.