Marriage & Family Life: Finding a shared purpose in the family

by Adam Storey | September 26, 2022

About a month ago my wife and I  were wrestling with how to balance all the demands on our time, our goals, and the ever increasing activities with the kids. Family life was taking on an eerie resemblance to “whack-a-mole” and we felt perpetually exhausted and disoriented. 

Kara and I were discussing how to move forward and we decided we needed a family meeting to think about who we want to be, and how we’re going to get there. We gathered our children (ages 10 years to 6 months), built enthusiasm by offering the kids sugary drinks, and we wrote a family mission statement. We began with a conversation about who we want to be. Kara and I talked about our love for hospitality and simplicity, while our kids focused more on their perceived lack of sufficient video game systems. Even with our divergent priorities, it was a fruitful and clarifying meeting, and we decided to have another meeting (with more sweet treats) in a month. 

At the second meeting, after having tried to live out our mission, we realized implementation was a mixed bag. We’ve made great strides in some areas, and no progress in others (a.k.a. still no video games). 

Even in the midst of failures, I do see a new enthusiasm and joy in my family as we try to live according to a shared purpose. In Amoris Laetitia Pope Francis wrote that forming a family is “to resolve to be a part of God’s dream, to choose to dream with him, to want to build with him.” It’s humbling and amazing to think that God asks us to participate in his salvific work, especially considering how often we fall short. This is why Pope Francis, immediately after speaking of our call to participate in God’s work, describes family life as “a ‘shepherding’ in mercy.”  

I personally feel like I’m entering into the fall with a lot of excitement. I have been renewed by my family’s dreaming together, our goals, both short and long-term, and our efforts to live together more faithfully. We certainly won’t live it out perfectly, and yet every failure is a chance to show mercy and to begin again. I pray that all our families can recognize the incredible gift offered to us as individuals and in our families. He wants us to become most fully who we are made to be and to build upon and participate in his saving work!


Adam Storey is the diocesan director of Marriage & Family Life. He can be reached at 515-237-5056.