75 Years of Marriage Rooted in Faith
October 17, 2025
Margaret and Raphael “RJ” Grote marked a special occasion earlier this year, a milestone few couples reach. They celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary on May 8.
What’s their secret to a successful marriage?
“Give and take,” said Margaret, who is 96 years old. “Forgive and forget.”
RJ, who is 97, added: “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.”
Faith and family have been important to Margaret and RJ since the day they met in 1948 in a cafe in Portsmouth.
Her cousin Leo was good friends with RJ. Leo pointed out Margaret across the room and said, “There’s a girl for you.”
Margaret liked RJ’s quietness.
RJ was born near Neola and Minden. His family moved to the Portsmouth area when he was in his early elementary school years. Margaret Kloewer was born near Westphalia. During her high school years, the family moved to Defiance.
They dated two years and wed in 1950 with Father Louis Rosmann at St. Mary Church in Portsmouth. Margaret smiled while remembering that day. It was supposed to be an outdoor celebration, but it had to be moved indoors because of rain.
The couple’s faith was part of everyday life as they raised seven children with prayer at mealtime and bedtime, and going to church every Sunday. The children went to Catholic school until 1968/1969, then to Harlan public schools. They moved in 1973 to the Dunlap area, where they joined St. Patrick Parish and the children attended religious education classes.
“They have a pretty strong faith,” said daughter Barb (Grote) Petersen.
RJ and Margaret modeled for their children how to respect and support each other.
“I think we learned from their example and they always encouraged us to support our spouses and help out,” said Barb.
A strong support network through family was also important. Margaret was one of 10 children and RJ was one of seven. They were close to their siblings and cousins, who supported them through the ups and downs of life.
Today, they count their blessings.
“We didn’t think we’d live this long,” said Margaret. Longevity runs in both sides of the family.
Blessings also come through their six children. A son celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary the same day they celebrated their 75th anniversary. And they’re blessed with 15 grandchildren and 17 great-grandchildren.
Faith and family continue to be a part of their lives.
A rosary goes wherever RJ goes, hanging on the side of his walker, and a rosary is affixed to a wall in their apartment at Elm Crest Retirement Center in Harlan. A homemade quilt crafted by family hangs on a wall behind their side-by-side chairs, and a collage of family photos decorates a wall. Their home’s décor reminds them that they’re loved by God and family.
Margaret has a piece of advice for young couples: “Forgive and forget, that’s the main thing. You don’t want to hold a grudge. You have to compromise.”